If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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