So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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