I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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