My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
