Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
