Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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