Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm too high and old for this...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
