i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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