Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
third nipple confirmed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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