I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
