Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
