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Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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