STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.