I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.