Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
