And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
