The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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