this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
