She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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