Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
