you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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