i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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