So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
