Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize