K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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