Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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