he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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