Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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