An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
