Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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