he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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