well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
