The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize