Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize