Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
