The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
