You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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