You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize