I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she peed on how many people?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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