There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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