I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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