When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize