Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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