Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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