I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
