Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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