I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
