I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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