we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
