You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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