My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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