wat bout pragnant strippers??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
