I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm always down for nudity.
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