I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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