He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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