Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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