you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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