You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
wow bdsm is so cute
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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