i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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